Ticker Master or Ticket Disaster – Is it time for a new age of live event ticketing?

Ticketmaster and I have never been friends. Our relationship is comparable to your one with the flatmate you were thrown into student accommodation with on your first day of university. You never would have chosen to have them in your life, and they are entirely morally incompatible. Still, they’ve come to serve quite an indispensable purpose and, regrettably, now heavily impact your general happiness and well-being.

All lovers of live music are regularly forced to battle within the minefield of Ticketmaster because no matter how dynamic their pricing may get, at least it appears to have been made this side of the moon landing (we shall never resort to SEE tickets). Although, with recent controversy claiming that the platform has been transferring purchased tickets into the accounts of strangers and tickets disappearing from the mobile app, is it finally time for the master to face the music?

The UK Government announced last week that they plan to introduce a voluntary stadium and arena ticket levy to save grassroots music venues that, post-pandemic, have been struggling to stay open. The arrival of the most intriguing government initiative since the 2021 live-action fever dream that was Eat Out to Help Out calls for a ticketing industry

out. In the same way that you’d clean out your cutlery insert before filling the grimy old draw with spanking new silverware, I feel as though the most popular ticketing platform is in need of a good scrubbing before it hosts this new-age, industry-saving initiative.

Lest we forget the carnage that ensued on 31st August 2024. Like hundreds of Gallagher-hungry northerners, I was left deflated and dumbfounded by the atrocity of the Oasis reunion tour ticket sale. After failing to even get onto the website an hour after the tickets were released, I accepted defeat and quickly adopted the staple ‘sore loser’ persona. Initially focusing my efforts proclaiming how Liam will never sound that good live anyway, and you’ll be lucky to catch them both alive by the end of the third show, I decided to direct my anguish towards Ticketmaster, which felt like a much more honest route for me to take.

You can’t rant about the perils of Ticketmaster without discussing the daylight robbery enforced by its dynamic pricing. The hip and elusive name is very deceiving, as the process simply entails manipulating adrenaline-riddled concert lovers into paying way over the odds for their ticket of choice. Cranking up the prices by three times, in the case of Oasis, it’s an entirely unjust and sickening profit-making process, curating insane capital from the love and loyalty of an artist’s fan base.

However, The Cure’s Robert Smith blames artists for pledging ignorance to the hellish pricing systems after the Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) launched an investigation into Ticketmaster. Fans of The Cure faced a similar experience with Ticketmaster’s dynamic pricing last year, with prices doubling along with their demand. Although Smith eventually managed to negotiate a partial refund for customers, stating that ‘they all know’ and any artist that claims to be oblivious to the enforcement of dynamic pricing on their ticket sales is either ‘f*cking stupid or lying’, according to his interview with The Times, back in October of this year.

Whilst I understand the extreme post-COVID demand for live music events and, therefore, concert tickets make for easy money making, I firmly believe that tickets should be distributed more fairly and not just those with the deepest pockets and fastest WiFi. Maybe it’s time to wave goodbye to digital queueing systems. Despite waiting in an orderly (huh, sorry, Glasto-goers!) single-file fashion being a central pillar of quintessential British culture, I think there are other, more suitable ways to get the tickets to those that deserve them.

Are you a robot? More like, are you actually a fan of their musical catalogue, or do you know a TikTok dance to a 2x speed remix of their biggest hit? Nothing would sort the wheat from the chaff like a music quiz. I’m not asking for Mastermind specialist subject-level knowledge, just the musical equivalent of which of these nine images has a bike in it. Simple. Fun. Effective.

Idea two, which I favour, is to grant Ticketmaster access to the user’s streaming data. Whilst you could argue that artist presale sign-up promotes a similar process, anyone can input their email address into the box below. There is no fiddling with the streaming stats, so this could also help to combat the touts who go on to violate the true fans on Viagogo (an entirely different post; I shall not get started). It would also be much less time-consuming for the fans, raking through their inbox, finding the code, and trailing back to the ticket provider only to find the artist presale went live 24 hours previously. Soz, try again with the touts and Tiktokers tomorrow!

So, whilst this post became an outlet for my years of pent-up anger towards Ticketmaster, it was spawned by the fabulous start from Starmer, demonstrating actual awareness of the flailing live music industry. Hopefully, there is more where that came from. Also, Ticketmaster, if you’re listening, everything that I said about your highly credible platform can be taken back in exchange for two standing Fontaines D.C. tickets at Aviva Studios next weekend x.