Finally, they BRIT the mark - The BRAT Awards didn't miss in 2025

Although this was the first BRIT Awards that didn’t make me want to start a riot, for me the show was not made by the promotion and appreciation of mainstream British music, but by Jack Whitehall’s risky roastings. They got the low light out of the way pronto, with Sabrina Carpenter flouncing around in patriotic lingerie as she sang a BRIT version of her hit single Espresso. She remixed her song about coffee with Rule! Britannia, to better resonate with a more tea-focused audience. It was clear that the evening could only improve from there on in, and I’m equally aghast and appeased that it did. There wasn’t a single award that I was outraged by. Stormzy even managed to smoke Central Cee despite doing nothing more than penning a verse and marketing his Happy Meal this year.

It was a great night to be a Geordie, it would seem, with Sam Fender and JADE (from Little Mix) winning Best Alternative/ Rock Act and Best Pop Act, respectively. The Shielders both delivered heart-warming acceptance speeches with varying degrees of depth; JADE whipped out a scrumpled bra-housed note, naming everyone she’d ever been thankful for whilst Fender frankly declared he was ‘nowhere near as drunk as last time’ … equally fair.

JADE’s strikingly impractical and viciously voluminous acceptance dress, with bolstering baby blue bouquets as shoulder pads, foreshadowed the aesthetic of her breathtaking performance. She performed her single Angel of My Dreams with a Shakespearean episodic performance, dramatising this Syco diss track. Starting with her falling through the arches onto the stage, the play consisted of five acts; The Marriage (to her caricature ‘music manager husband’, who joined her down the red carpet), Prima Donna, Metamorphosis, Requiem and Ascension, watching her rise from the ashes of her Xfactor fed stardom into an award-winning pop artist in her own right.

Sam Fender’s festival of a performance was equally striking in an entirely opposing way. It made me crave a belly full of lukewarm booze and to be carelessly clad in mud, sweat and tears. It pre-empted the energy to be expected from his run of outdoor gigs this summer and reasoned his ever-deserving BRIT award win. Aye, deed cleva card!

Overall, the performance standard was high throughout the night, as to be expected from the biggest evening in British music. My heart went out to my beloved The Last Dinner Party, though, who looked bamboozled as they helplessly willed their lead guitar to kick in, which it did in the end thanks to the crawling tech man. The group also won Best New Artist, after being awarded BRIT’s Rising Star last year. The accolade set to pre-empt future success was awarded to Myles Smith this year, who impressed me with his conscious and impactful acceptance speech. Directly addressing the big guys in the room, Smith used his newfound platform to poke the industry giants about the lack of continual support that they offer artists, and the government’s disregard for one of the country’s greatest imports. A much-needed speech, cementing his title, ‘Luton’s Bob Dylan’, as dubbed by Jack Whitehall before his captivating performance of Nice to Meet You X Stargazing.

Myles wasn’t the only one to use his platform to probe the industry, however. The Last Dinner Party, or The St Trinian’s House Party, noted the vital importance of independent venues and how evenings such as The BRITs could never materialise without the platforms housed by local music venues.

Stormzy also made a nod to his bewilderment at winning Best Hip-Hop/Grime/Rap artist this year with his lack of output, declaring how the award should have gone to Central Cee. He made it clear that he felt as though fans shouldn’t be allowed to vote for the winners, taking an angle I’d never before considered. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I disagree with snooty old men deciding which of the seventeen albums they can’t comprehend should win the glossy wee trophy. However, Stomzy’s point rings true; leaving fans in charge has turned The BRITs into a popularity contest. Despite some of the big awards still being left down to the big dogs’ decisions, the genre awards just reflect who has the most dedicated fan base, and not who the most talented artist is. Basically, big award shows can (ironically) never win.

Last, but by no means least, Ezra Collective made a poignant speech about how music could be the answer. Possibly preaching to the choir, the jazz group ‘banged the drum’ of how impactful getting young people into music could be for the greater good of the country. They touched on how the government is currently stumped with how to resolve anti-social issues within the UK. Ezra Collective proclaimed how the problem could be mitigated by giving a kid a trumpet and a supporting youth club that gives them something rewarding to work towards. A final much-needed and tastefully articulated speech. The collective, after picking up their well-earned award for Group of the Year, stole the show with an energised performance of their melody of tracks Shaking Body, Ajala, and Victory Dance, with Jorja Smith later joining them to bring the house down with their rendition of her hit track Little Things.

Saturday evening cannot be discussed without mentioning the woman of the hour - Charli XCX. Charli’s acclaim was well-deserved for no other reason than she started a cultural movement with a name that no one quite understands about a season we don’t even have. Whether it was clever marketing or cultural accolades that won Charli her 5 BRIT awards, her facial expressions made it seem as though all she’d cleaned up recently was aisle five after a six-pint milk explosion. She came across as slightly ungrateful and expecting of her awards, although after turning down the opportunity to perform to get drunk, Queen BRAT was probably just pissed.

Whilst the awards may have gone in my favour, with RAYE also picking up Best RnB Act and Fontaines DC claiming the title of Best International Group for the second year in a row, it’s Whitehall’s one-lines that have stayed with me. The man put my music journalism whit to shame as he slated KSI’s track Thick of It. Jack stated how he found his work inspirational, as listening to someone talented like Kendrick Lamar just makes songwriting seem like such an unachievable goal, whereas he believes he could easily emulate KSI’s work. I’ll leave you with some more of Whitehall’s legendary remarks in the hope that he’ll be returning to spice up the monotony of the music award show next year.

Whitehall’s One-Liners -

• ‘KSI judging talent is like Steven Hawking judging Strictly’, upon revealing that he is the latest judge to join the BGT panel.

• He described Coldplay as ‘the musical missionary position’ and ‘private school Nickleback’.

• ‘The voice of an angel and the face of a primary school desk’ - Teddy Swims.

• ‘A new act is harder to find than Louis Walsh’s sense of shame’, referring to the harrowing Boyzone documentary.

• Finishing off with my fave, a line I shall be re-hashing as my own in future no doubt, ‘Wetherspoons Whitney - Becky Hill’.